The Stages of Grief

by ESKI

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Plectranthus
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Plectranthus This might sound redundant. But it's so nice to hear a voice that understands... Then overcoming those emotions to create with them something so beautiful. Your work is truly inspiring. I'm sorry for your pain, but I'm glad it happened. Favorite track: Tethered.
christabelle
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christabelle True work of *art.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Raw.
Heartwrenching.
Poetic... Favorite track: Coup de Grâce.
/
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04:07
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05:12

about

The stages of grief are as follows: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They aren't linear, they aren't romantic, and they aren't cathartic. This album is the creative aftermath of a failed relationship. It took me a year to live and a year to write as I tried to compose each song while I was experiencing the stage.

credits

released March 19, 2017

Written and recorded by Stevie Lorann
Recorded and produced by Landon Echeverio

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about

ESKI Portland, Oregon

A small woman making music in Portland, OR.

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Track Name: A World of Us
We built a castle
of iron and sand
We stack, we tear down
We love with our hands

It all felt cosmic
as it fell into place
The moon hung heavy
and we hid in her grace

We built a castle
towered in the sky
Enshrined each other
turned water to wine

They heard our sermon
the moon changed her phase
The water swelled up
and it took away

A world of us
Track Name: Nice Guy
In the room where you left me
there are stains in the carpet
The exit wounds of loving you
You were armed and unspoken

And I leave our tiny apartment wondering "why cant you stick around?"
but you can't help it that you're violent in all of the ways you let me down.

This is what your guilt looks like
when you hide under our bed
The bloody mess of rorschach tests
you will never hurt me again
like you said you wouldn't, like you said you could.

And I leave our tiny apartment wondering how I could love you right
but you can't help it that the only way to be the nice guy is with lies.
And in the room where you left me there are stains from all my open wounds
but you can't help it makes you happy watching someone bleeding over you
Track Name: Coup de Grâce
He felt like nothing I've known
like there's so many years left to grow
We planted all of our love
in our bodies we shared as a home

And if he could stay
I'd promise him all of the flowers that bloom inside me
Worth the long wait
through cold winter days when our bones break to blossom in spring

The frost dug into our garden
real deep on a December day
So he armed himself with a shovel
to kill them before they were slain

And if he could stay
I'd promise him all of the flowers that bloom inside me
but he couldn't wait
through long winter days when our bones break to blossom in spring
And if he could stay
I'd make a bouquet of the treasures that gardening brings
but he couldn't wait
through long winter days when our bones break to blossom in spring
Track Name: Tethered
I still love you as a stranger
you're burried so deep in me
When you say you hope I'm well
I'll take it offensively

I feel like I'll bleed forever
and still feel you in my bones
Wound too tight to come untethered
etched in skin I can't outgrow

And if you love me, why'd you leave me?
I turned into something wrong
Something trapped inside the attic
in a home I dont belong
Track Name: Pronoia
I cannot keep living in the shadow of
someone you used to love
But I watched you set fire to perfect parts of me
with ashes left to keep
My stretch marks remind me of the pain it takes
to occupy more space
Maybe I can love myself when I'm not busy loving someone else

You've been disenchanted, how am I to feel?
How much of me was real?
But I live in this body, I must build it up
I'm mine, to burn, to love
And maybe that's the way things have to be
a forest fire to reacquaint the seed
And maybe I can love myself when I'm not busy loving someone else